Natsuyasumi ga mitai (I want Summer Vacation)
by Yamino Majo
Summary: [An I My Me! Strawberry Eggs fanfiction] Post series: Amawa Hibiki does some late night musing...


Natsuyasumi ga mitai (I want Summer Vacation)  
  
An I My Me!Strawberry Eggs fanfiction by Majo-chan  
  
Author's notes: This won't make much sense if you haven't 

seen most/all of IMMSE (It's only 13 episodes! Go see it!^^). 

This takes place a bit after the end of the series and there

are spoilers. Mild angst.  
*The title comes from what was written (I think) on the 

chalkboard at the end of the opening credits^^; Majo is 

not creative enough to come up with titles herself.  
  
***  
  
the season when we met, those vivid passing memories  
I may be lost and confused about the future, but I will not forget you  
I will not forget you  
  
~Dearest by Mieno Hitomi  
**  
  
Outside the rumbling of a car engine gradually faded as it   
drove past, the sound, and the moving rectangle of light it caused   
through his window the only indication of its passing. After it was   
gone, the room fell back into the blue-black darkness that covered   
everything only on the deepest and darkest of nights, and he laid   
there, awake and thinking.  
He wasn't a fond believer that everyone had a certain turning   
point in their life that would change everything forever. If pressed,   
he'd probably advocate the belief that it was the little things, build   
up day by day, event by event, that shaped the outcome of a person's   
life, and their eventual destiny.  
Now he had to concede that maybe he was wrong.  
When had his big turning point come and gone? The events of the   
past month flashed by, sometimes lingering on certain faces, certain   
events, and sometimes passing them by without a second thought. There   
were happy moments and sad ones. All of them seemed to be the most   
important. Was it when he first decided that he would be willing to do   
anything to realize his dream of finally being a teacher? Even if it   
meant being a different Amawa Hibiki? Was it when he met Kuzuha? Maybe   
it was that time when the Vice President revealed his secret to the   
whole school. In that stadium, filled with his students, watching the   
surprise on their faces gradually fade to disbelief and anger...and   
maybe a bit of betrayed hurt, when he felt his own horror peak as the   
blond woman had hit the play button. And Kuzuha had looked at him with   
wide, shell-shocked eyes, and that was when he had decided enough was   
enough.   
Yes, that might have been it.  
He had walked out after bowing, hoping against hope that his   
students and the parents understood his unspoken apology. The makeup,   
the feminine clothes, he had shed it like a second skin, as fast as he   
could. He decided that even though he had the chance to continue   
fooling everyone, that his lie would end then. Because it was just   
that, a lie. And even if he went on living the life of Amawa Hibiki,   
the teacher, the woman, everything would still be a lie.   
But still, he couldn't bring himself to speak, to shatter the   
lie completely. It wasn't until he met his students as his real self,   
heard their derision and felt their contempt, that he finally had to   
face the extent of what he had done. At that moment he had felt deeply   
ashamed for betraying their trust, for hurting them. Kuzuha had asked   
him if it was all a lie... if her beloved Hibiki-sensei and everything   
they had gone through together was a mere illusion. The reasons that   
she thought he did it were all wrong, but he didn't correct her. Fukae   
was right. He wasn't even worth the effort. Explanations at that point   
would have meant nothing.  
For almost a week after he had left, even amidst the blessings   
of his students and the pleas for his return, he had been unable to   
look at himself in the mirror. Amawa Hibiki stared back at him, and the   
image brought back too much bittersweet memories as well as questions   
he didn't know the answers to. Who was she? Who was he? A few times he   
almost chopped off his butt-length hair, if only to banish the phantom   
of the green-eyed woman in the mirror. What did a man need with such   
long hair? Always, he had turned aside the scissors at the last moment.   
The act would be cowardly, to place the blame on his hair. Everything   
that was done was done with his knowledge and consent. He had to take   
responsibility for his own mistakes and find solutions to his own   
problems without trying to run away from them.  
And so he left. Because at that moment, even though everyone   
forgave him and realized the true motives behind his actions, he still   
didn't have the answer himself. Amawa Hibiki...who was he? Who was she?   
It wasn't fair to go back to them if he himself didn't know the answer.   
It wasn't fair to himself either. And it wasn't fair to Kuzuha.  
Kuzuha who always smiled when she wanted to cry. Kuzuha who had   
the smallest stature but the biggest heart. Kuzuha who was clumsy   
beyond belief but ran her first fifty meters dash for him. Kuzuha who   
loved him as the woman, Amawa Hibiki. Kuzuha who still loved him, as   
his real self.  
Beside him, a furry lump moved and whimpered slightly. He   
turned his head, pulled back to the present by the sound, and smiled   
slightly in the dark. He reached out and patted the soft head and got a   
quiet *woof* in return. "All right, Kurage." He whispered. "I'll stop   
thinking now and go to sleep. The answer will come someday...hopefully   
soon." Kuzuha...Kuzuha had chased after him. She had ran with all her   
might, and even smiled at him. He closed his eyes and smiled, feeling a   
sudden warmth burst inside his chest. He will find the answer...and   
return to her, to all his students. It was just a matter of time. "Good   
night." he whispered.  
And in his new apartment, far away from his students and   
Kuzuha, from past mistakes and bittersweet memories, still doubtful but   
also hopeful, Amawa Hibiki slept.  
  
*end*


End file.
